CUPCAKE RECAP!

From our newest cake/ball contributor, Steven! (who will be recapping the best and worst of the weekend's football)

Hello,

After a rocky start to the college football season, I have decided that games, players, and coaches need to be graded from time to time. What better way to grade than on a cupcake scale?!? The more cupcakes, the better, with the scale going from one to five. The Sooners will always get a cupcake grade, but other teams will also be graded. So, without further ado, let’s go over the first ever CUPCAKE RECAP!

Let’s start with OU’s offensive line. The big eaters did a decent job this week of protecting Jones against a very weak defensive line. Let’s face it, the Idaho State Bengals are not fielding NFL caliber talent on their defense. When the OU offensive line needed a push from the one yard line (reminiscent of the stops made at BYU and Florida), they were unsuccessful. This weekend’s performance earned the offensive line ½ cupcake. As big as those guys are, that amount of cupcake isn’t going to go far…so pick up the slack!

Staying in the offense, we will move to the man of the hour, Landry Jones! Filling in for an injured Bradford and on his first collegiate start, he managed to amass 286 passing yards and 3 touchdowns. This pales in comparison to the national recognition he is receiving for his ‘stache! He has been contacted by the American Mustache Institute, which I believe is a first for any OU football player. For this achievement alone he earns 5 cupcakes!

Our defense has also stepped up this year, doing a decent job of shutting down mediocre teams. We still look weak in the middle, something our coaches need to figure out…and fast. For now, our defense gets 3 cupcakes.

Finally, the OU fans get awarded 5 cupcakes for showing up. The weather was miserable but Sooner spirit was alive and well!


Now, for some national awards!

Biggest bakery thieves of the week: the university of texas football team. Where is your pride? Seriously, beating up on teams that don’t belong on the field for division I? Not only that, but for the first half of the Wyoming game you were tied…seriously, stop stealing from the kitchen and start doing something with your season. -5 cupcakes…that’s right, you owe the entire college football community 5 cupcakes. The worst rating possible.
Biggest cupcake versus the smallest sprinkles: the university of florida gators. You are not doing any better than the shorthorns, only difference is you didn’t let the sprinkles hang around for a half of football. You too, get a rating of -5 cupcakes…this means we will have an abundance of cupcakes this week!

Best cupcake game of last week: This honor has to go to the Ohio State and USC game. What a game! Too bad Ohio State’s defense couldn’t stop a last minute drive, still it’s worth 4 cupcakes.
This week’s cupcake matchup: Although the Texas Tech versus Texas game would look to be intriguing after last season, it will not amount to anything, so the award goes to the Nebraska versus Virginia Tech game. This is the time for Bo Pelini to step up and show that Nebraska is ready for the national spotlight on the road. I personally don’t think they are there yet and will more than likely lose in Blacksburg, but you never know!

~Steven